Saturday, July 26, 2008

Frustrations of a parent

he plays with his friends in the pool after his swimming lesson
this goes on for an hour, close to lunch
he cannot touch the bottom of the lap pool with his feet, but they venture into the deeper section, his friend towing him on a kick board
your mind goes thru the motion of a rescue..
remove wallet, jump in, but only when he is struggling under the water..
he has to learn from his lesson...

but instead, you warn them to turn back

you tell him that his 5 mins was up
he bargains with you for another 10

his other friends are ending their lesson and you fear that he will not leave the pool
you pack up and ask him to leave
he shouts and throw tantrums
he sprays you with his water gun
you get wet on your clothing, you reiterate that his play time is up
he sprays you again

he prepares to move further into the pool
you removed your slipper and in split-seconds stepped into the pool and yanked him out with one arm onto the deck
he was caught unawares, he throws tantrums, shouts and demands for mummy
his friends are probably stunned, but your attention is only on him
you instruct him to follow you back home, but he just wants mummy

you left him to cry, walking towards home
people at the pool are left talking about a father who over-reacted
they glance at him and you
you continue walking home, instructing him to follow
he continues crying for mummy

you try to reason with him again, but he keeps crying for mummy
you feel like closing the gate with him outside, but he rushes to it
you keep it open for him, he continues crying for mummy
you wait for the lift, he continues crying for mummy

in the lift, he continues crying for mummy
you raised your voice at him, telling him about the time, that he has played for so long, that he never listens
your voice gave him a shock, he continues crying for mummy
you tell him to shut up, he continues crying for mummy

he reaches home, finally
you are really fuming...
because he did not listen, because of what they thought, because of the way you reacted

you wonder if you are being a good parent...
you promised him to teach him to play a new psp game, but you feel he did not deserve it
you ground him from playing with friends after swimming lessons in future...
he looked sad, but did not reply

you wonder with the second one, how much worse could it be...
you have not gone on a real holiday since his birth, and would probably not go for one anytime soon
you long to go to japan to visit sakuma-san at the concord, to plough through piles of lps, to marvel at esteroic audio gear, to buy a yamamoto amplifier
even if you went, disney had to come first
you long to visit a beach resort to enjoy the beach, the pool, the spa, the massage
even if you went, it may not be child friendly
you want to visit the architecture of russia, experience the uniqueness of the place
even if you went, the long haul flight experience with children would have killed you first

you wonder when...
but it's only the beginning
you think of your parents and your nonsense they had put up with...
you only wonder how they did it


Anonymous said...

Sounds like what my hubby went through too. Dun be too bother with that the other adults think. They will get a taste of it when they become parents. Anyway, the part on being grounded with no decent break applies to mummy too lah. So empathise with her bah.

garbage said...

so strange... replying to anonymous.

of course my wife's attention is demanded by Lucas more than mine.

i'm only 2nd priority. :(

Anonymous said...

Don't think you are second priority. Just that Lucas probable needs more attention at this point of time and given the 24 hrs that everyone has, your wife might have "minimal" time for you but that doesn't mean you are 2nd priority. The love for your spouse can never be measured against the love for your kids.

You are doing fine as a daddy so keep up the good work. :)